In a dawn raid that shocked and overwhelmed local security in its ferocity, the normally pacifistic forces of the Gay Nigger Assocation of America (seemingly backed up by a highly trained militia recruited from the French district of New Orleans), attacked and captured Americas second most notorious Nigger, National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice.
As baffled secret service officials still searched for a motive, their questions were soon answered in the form of a video (distributed via Ogrish.com) showing a now naked and bound Rice knelt before her captors, who were all masked and of african-american descent. In a carefully prepared statement, Miss Rice stated that her captors had been accommodating, providing her with fresh dongs and gay nigger seed to sustain her during the difficult journey to her current location, which is believed to be Central Nigeria.
His voice muffled by the cloth covering all but his eyes, the leader of the kidnappers (who referred to himself as "Tuvai"), demanded the release of one of their members, known only as "l0de", currently being held and beaten with sacks of Jewish gold in the notorious Camp X-ray (located in US naval base of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba). The dark men then chillingly warned that "If our demands were not met within 72 hours, we shall decapitate the zionist with our dongs".
In response, a disheveled President Bush, who had to postpone his somewhat mysterious personal vacation to Columbia, stated that if Miss Rice was not returned immediately he would "personally march to Nigeria himself" to see the utter destruction of the GNAA.
After being silently informed by the carefully hovering Dick Cheney that Nigeria was infact across several thousand miles of Ocean and such a feat was impossible, the mobilsation of the US Airforce began, with Nigerian capital Abuja City already described by Fox News as "a smoking ruin". Although Reuters, AP and the BBC have maintained that it is "unharmed and currently in the middle of a mass orgy".
OSTG was unavailible for comment, however it has been confirmed via Netcraft that LostCluster has been given a pre-emptive +5, fellatio from Slashdot editor Michael Sims, several hours before the articles posting.
About l0de:Long time GNAA and Teens4christ member l0de has amassed a loyal following both among the listeners to his weekly "l0de radio hour" internet broadcast/terrorist sleeper cell activation code, and among the AIDS ridden homosexuals that frequent the New Orleans area.
His disappearance soon after his arrest by local authorities has been blamed on the Secret Service, who, it is alleged, were tipped off an hour previously regarding threats made by l0de on his September 11th lrh special to hijack a Carnival Cruise Ship and ram it into the White House.
