Relationships - the nerd never gets the girl
by bunungs on 03:11 PM May 31st, 2002 (Score:-1) (#3615499)
(User #536665 Info) [ Neutral ]

I will start this article by first explaining a bit about myself. I'm pretty
much a nerd. Life goes on, if you don't like that then stop reading now. By
many of the females I know I'm considered a 'nice guy' something that I have
always been uncomfortable with. Not for the fact that deep down I long to be
'not nice' to the opposite sex and pick them up by using such wonderful
techniques as "Dumb Sports Star", "Date Rapist" and my 'favourite' "Finished
school, no direction, maccas employee" - but more on these type of people
later. I want to be not 'the nice guy' for the sole fucking reality that the
nice guy never gets the girl. This summery of the past few months will once
again prove that this is the case. This 'saga' of what I now feel compelled to
call, "The worst fucking luck on earth", began after a girl who I'd grown to
like a fair amount dumped my sorry ass. But at the time it was what I wanted as
well, I just don't have the guts to hurt people”Ēs feelings, and prefer to take
the pain of carrying on instead of breaking it off. We split because of
religious differences, that is I am and atheist, and she's not. And in my poor
fucking foresight I lost a good friend because I was too stupid to realise what
a nice person she was. But that is water under the bridge now. During this time
bitching and moaning about how there was never going to be a girl for me, I was
sub-consciously seduced by the girl who this article really centres about. Oh
and when I mean girl I think I really mean, mentally unstable she-bitch. She
had been in my class the whole year, she was not the greatest looking girl in
the world, but she accepted me for who I was and I felt compelled to return the
favour. So after what was probably 3 months of courting I asked her out, now
you see, I didn't really ask her out because I lusted after her, but because I
didn't know where to take the relationship to next, she was female and my best
friend, and well being 17 and under-sexed, my hormones got the better of me. At
the time I actually asked her out I was quite horny, as I'd just witnessed the
greatest aphrodisiac that is on this earth - The Harry Potter Movie, and the
reaction I got from her needed no words to reply. She shoved her tongue down my
throat, I hadn't expected that kind of reaction, but that's what I got. Now we
progress a few months to, if my sieve of a brain can recall, just after
Christmas time. By this stage I had grown accustomed to her, and every minute I
spent by her side made me very happy. But she calls me into her room crying,
she asks if we can call it off. I ask why, then after a while talking about it,
she changes her mind, but after that I'm fairly sure that she still wanted to
be with me, at least for 3 more months. So 3 more months pass and it was the
night of her birthday, I was just comfortable, I felt like there was nothing
that could break us up. Then 2 days later she comes over to my place, tears my
heart out, starts the lawnmower, rides over it a couple of times, and to make
sure my ability to care for a member of the opposite sex won't ever work again
she picks up the pieces wraps them in a bag, and takes them to what I assume is
her lair to consume for dinner that night. That I was fine with, it gives a
nerd a bad reputation to have a girl friend. But as she left, she gave me hope,
she said something to the affect of, "It's just that I don't have time for a
boy friend right now, I have work, school, and music - I bet you that I will
regret this decision in a few days and we'll get back together." She also said,
"It's not you it's me" But I just laughed at her when she said that, she knew
the second she said it that it was a stupid thing to say as I deconstructed it
right there and then in front of her. ANYWAY FOLKS THESE WORDS WERE JUST
DECEPTION AND LIES ON HER PART! After giving me the standard "2 months so that
I don't feel guilty about dumping my boy friend for another guy" period. She
seduces another poor soul. This is a guy that she works with at maccas. Whilst
I have bitter feelings towards the guy, which I have never met, I know that he
is not to blame. Actually maybe he is the fucking basted. Oh well enough back
story In the introduction I made a slight reference to the kind of guy that I'm
not and will hopefully never be - but unfortunately, they are also the ones
that get the girls. Dumb Sports Star - This is the most common kind of male at
my homo-erotic school (not that there's any thing wrong with being gay, as long
as your family accepts you and your happy). All they care about is sport, sex
and alcohol. You can commonly witness these kinds of people driving Utes, even
though they live 4 minutes drive from school and have no use for the tray.
There method of getting a girl is looking for the most pretty, dumb thing that
walks there way. According to there morals there is no need for brains when you
are shagging something. But the jokes on them when they get there girlfriends
pregnant because they didn”Ēt' use a condom. Well done sports brain! Date
Rapist - Whilst not technically a rapist in this situation, these are the most
dodgy people at our school, they love there FUBU jackets and visors. They smoke
quite a bit, and have no objection to beating people up and breaking any rule
to get things there way. There preferred method to getting a girl is to either
spike there drink with rookies or to just wait till the girl has drunken so
much that she doesn't know up from down, left from right, or nice sensible nerd
from possible date rapist. They move in for the kill, but not to worry, it's
usually over in about 2-3 minutes, as there dick”Ēs are either too small to
find, or they only have the stamina of an African humming bird. Finished
school, no direction, maccas employee - These fuckers are the ones I despise
the most, because this is what I was dumped for. Now to quote my ex (the night
I officially discovered she had a new boyfriend, even though I'd pieced it
together over a week before) "I don't know, he's 19, I'm 17, he has an OK taste
in movies, but we're from different worlds. He enjoys getting drunk with his
friends, and I'm not like that", now WTF!?! Why are you going out with this
guy? Why is she attracted to this guy? The answer is because he fits into one
of my unfairly created stereotypes. Now for the deconstruction of this
stereotype: Whilst not all are bad people, they feel a compelling urge to
solicit younger girls, stealing them from the age group that they are actually
from, yet after a while the girl realises that she is dating someone with no
direction that always wants his way. If the girl doesn't get out of the trap
they are destined to become a working mother, divorced by age 30. They make
there move by just being themselves, lazy slackers. The female is instinctively
drawn to this by there, "Oh my maybe I can fix him and make him respectable
gene", but this is usually overpowered by the males, "WOMAN, get me a beer"
gene. Now any nerds or "not-normal" people out there. Unless you want to live a
lonely life, suggest that you become one of these kinds of men or your
girlfriend will leave you for one. Me? I would rather die alone then let that
happen, so I guess I'm fucked These guys will do anything to get some poon, and
that unfortunately means your lady friends are also on the menu. Life is pain,
and pain is life. Lucky I wasn't in love or some shit like that.

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